“Arseniy, they will soon kick your ass”, or what’s going viral in Ukraine’s social media



Arseniy, they will soon kick your ass.

By Obychnyy [Usual]

Translated from Russian by J.Hawk

It seems to me they won’t simply kick your ass, but rather
f*ck you over thoroughly as a failed petty thief from a provincial town square.
No, Senya, it won’t be a bullet to the head, because there is no evidence of
head existing where the bullet needs to go. Your head somehow has not been in

Seems to me the first to start f*cking with you are the
Maidan people who were inspired by your fiery speeches about justice and
fighting oligarchs during the cold winter days of 2014, then were themselves
shot in the head.

They’ll beat you because you delivered the country to one or
more oligarchs, they’ll also beat Poroshenko who quickly put together his People’s
Front (read: Front against the People). You were so united when it came to the
Ukrnafta vote. So we no longer need money in the budget?

They’ll also beat you, Senya, for all the dirty deals in the
Cabinet. The coal contracts, the electricity contract with Russia, Mokhnik and
his waste disposal, Ukrspirt, etc., etc., etc.

That’s because, Senya, the chief doctor is responsible for
the entire hospital, colonel for the regiment, and Prime Minister for the entire
Cabinet of Ministers. He also answers for all the appointments to the Cabinet.
Tell me, Senya, what idiot named an individual with barely an undergraduate
degree to head the Ministry of Education, thus demonstrating that one does not
need to have education to head the Ministry of Education?

They’ll beat you with quiet enjoyment and undisguised
pleasure for failing to pick up money off the ground and put it into the
long-suffering budget. Senya, you are a well-educated kid from a family whose
roots go back to an eternally persecuted and educated nation. You no doubt
know what Al Capone went to prison for. He ended up there for the banal failure
to pay taxes. Senya, what’s so difficult in comparing ministers’, judges,
prosecutors’ tax payment records with the registers of their declared property?
I’m telling you, Senya, there’s enough money there for three budgets, with
enough to left over to repay the IMF. Best of all, there’s nothing left to
prove. Everything has been documented since 2000, unless I’m mistaken.

And what have you done? You cut retirement pensions.

Senya, understand that you were too greedy to give back some
of your dividends, so instead you shamelessly went after grandmothers and
halved their social benefits. Grandmothers who have already contributed far
more to the underfed by you army a far greater proportion of their poverty
income than you have.

Senya, angry grandmothers are something very special, I think… Ukrainians can stick it to you for their grandmothers more heartily than they would on their
own account.

Without any doubt, you’ll catch hell for constant lying.
Senya, what did they tell you at the IMF? They told you to balance the pension
fund. What did you report to us? That they said to cut pensions. Senya, your mother  told you as a kid that it’s bad to bullshit,
and that people can banally and painfully kick your ass for it.

The funniest of all is that, Senya, you’ll be f*cked over by
your hurriedly slapped together People’s Front. This will happen when the Front
will be sent to the (real) front, or when the real front will come to you and
ask you about the “thousands” you promised them for serving on the front lines
and bonuses for destroyed enemy equipment. What, did you steal that money too?

Senya, my dear A-student, your history teacher no doubt told
you now Konrad Adenauer started in the bankrupted Germany. Did you forget? I’ll
remind you. Senya, he paid himself 1 pfennig.

How did you begin? Senya, don’t envy Yanukovych and his
schemes. You and your camarilla will never reach that level. He had
organization, a criminal one to be sure, but an organization nevertheless. But
you, like pick-pockets, are rifling through the baggage left behind by the “legitimate
government” containing the remnants of national inheritance, and are going
through the pockets of distracted small businessmen. Senya, pick-pockets make
money only until someone notices, and then it’s time to run. They’ll run after
you and I have almost no doubt that they will catch you.

One last thing. Senya, if you are naively hoping that, in
the best traditions of a persecuted nation, you can turn the people’s anger
against the Chocolate One, then let me remind you.

First of all, Poroshenko is also one of the persecuted ones,
therefore he thinks about “that” no less than you.

Secondly, Ukraine is a parliamentary-presidential republic,
hopefully, and therefore it’s entirely possible they’ll start with you.

You are not taking care of yourself, Senya, not taking care
of yourself at all…

P.S.: No “anti-semitism” here. God forbid. I only wanted to
talk with you using language you would understand. 

J.Hawk’s Comment: It’s really beginning to look like “Yats” is indeed going to be “the man”. But not in a good sense of the term. 

Incidentally, the piece was originally published on the durdom.in.ua web site, the address of which literally means “madhouse in Ukraine.”

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