Russian survival tips for collapse and anarchy in Ukraine


March 23, 2015
Alexey Ivakin
Translated by Kristina Rus

A letter to Odessa civilians

The text below is only for the normal and adequate citizens of Odessa. Also, for the citizens of other cities of former Ukraine.

Hope that SBU agents reading my blog, adequately and correctly understand the phrase “former Ukraine” – it’s not me and not Putin who raise tariffs, ruining the hryvnia, destroy the industry. All questions to Benya [Kolomoisky] and Potrokh [Poroshenko]. Oh. Sorry, I promised Poroshenko not to use abusive words. But I didn’t promise anything to Yatsenyuk.

Now, for the citizens of Odessa.

Forget all political issues – who’s to blame. Screw that.

Now the most important question for you is – “what to do next?”

Supplies of flour, salt and matches honestly will help a little. 

Because in the situation of a Big f%ck up rule not matches, but bullets. And you are law-abiding citizens – “mirnyaki”. You have no bullets. And will not. And if you find them, you are not “mirnyaki”. 

In such situations survive not lonely survivalists. Those are shot first.

Survives always a community.

What do you need to do?

1. Gather with your neighbors [most Russians and Ukrainians live in multi-family apartment houses – KR]. Or with the courtyard [most Russian and Ukrainian houses are arranged around a courtyard with a playground and community structures – KR], if you live on Moldavanka. First you need to choose a commander. A man. Serious, smart, strong. Who can. Tell maidanites and anti-maidanites to go f$ck themselves. The man needs to be apolitical. In general, I recommend to expel all political whores from the courtyard with piss rags.

2. Regardless of political views – again: f%ck this dirty business – you need to address the following issues:

2.1 Safety

Under conditions of anarchy different kinds of gangs will be chasing each other on the streets – Right Sector, partisans, red, white, and green. And bandit gangs. From time to time they will run into your yardfront door. Not because you are bad, but simply because they were running past your house. Mirnyak [civilians] for gangs are just meat. Some will just stay the night and accidentally pee outside the toilet. Others will take the toilet and your daughter to go with it. Third will just shoot you. Thus you need to team up with neighbors and have a patrol around the clock. Just like the army guard. Arrange an emergency phone. From it to the phones of all the men of the house, if anything – an urgent call to all. Establish contacts with the cops. If you have contacts with private security firms – get in touch. In general, no matter with whom – but you have to have it. Next, think for yourself what to do.

2.2 Children

Let’s suppose there is war on the streets. Not a good idea to send children to school and daycare. Therefore, someone needs to take care of the kids. And that’s where chicks are useful. Make a schedule so some of the girls will take care of your kids every day in the courtyard. And at home. In general, chicks should be given tasks so they don’t panic. Otherwise they will start to scream…

2.3 Food

No maraudering. Shop. But why go shopping with the entire block? One car is enough, go shop for the whole yard. It will be cheaper. If anything, be ready for a field kitchen. I mean, starting a fire and cooking for the entire courtyard.

2.4 Mutual help

Every one of you are pros of your trade. Someone is a medic, someone is a lawyer, someone is a plumber. Make a simple arrangement – you do everything for the neighbors of your house/ courtyard for free. Quid pro quo.

2.5 Think for yourself, what else do you need.

All sorts of tactical questions – how to cover windows or how to buy gasoline – decide for yourself.

My point is to explain the system of organization. So you will have more chances to survive – and survive safely – than alone.

3. Repeat a hundredth time – to all who call for Maidan or anti-maidan tell to screw themselves. Your task is to survive and not to change the government. They will change it without you.

4. Do not spare money. Life is more valuable. Not your life. The lives of your children.

5. Create lines of communication with neighboring courtyardshouses. 

Especially for anxious security agents: the creation of such organizations is in the framework of the Constitution of Ukraine.

They are called “gromady” [communities – KR].

I am sorry for writing from the safety of Moscow.

I’ll be back soon.


– Are things that bad in Odessa?? If the issue is about survival…

– It is believed that soon street fighting is possible

– Horror, f#ck…may I ask – who with whom? My nephew is in school there

– Cops with cops, SBU with SBU, angels with Right Sector and so on.

– All against all? … and the reason? 

– There is no specific reason. 

Anarchy, her mother. The anarchy brought by Benya, Peter, bunny [Yatsenyuk – KR] and other b%tches. Some will avenge the May 2, some will look for Colorados, some will be pressing business.

– Well, it’s f$cked up!!! Is the present pseudo-government not going to react to the loss of control over a strategic region? Understand that all is shaky there, but not to that degree!

– And who is the government?

First at the top everyone will kill each other screaming “Who’s the authority? I am the authority!”

– I have a neighbor, Georgian from Tbilisi. Their war (the guys of Shevarnadze against the guys of that dissident) was hot only around two city blocks. Just around his house. That was enough for him.

– Do you think this will happen in Dnepropetrovsk?

– Even if not – why not create a “gromada” in your house?

– What you’ve described, is not a big collapse, it’s a small collapse.
If there is a phone, then there electricity too. 

Not a word about water and sanitation, it means it’s working.

A big collapse is described in the memoirs of some Bosnian. But they were surviving for three years in the city.

What about alcohol and medicines to stock up – do you think it’s too early?

And about appearances. That guy emphasized that the house has to look poor, so the passing gangs will not notice it. Because if they spot it – that’s it, will track it down, find a convenient time – and it’s over. Oh and so the “neighbors” don’t know whether you have supplies or you are eating the last hedgehog. 

– Until you write to buy toilet paper – you think they won’t buy it?

– It depends on duration… Roughly speaking if there will be Romanian/Turkish/any occupation after three or four months of anarchy – the collapse will remain small, no danger besides an occasional gang.

But if anarchy is for a year or more, then its better to read about other experiences, while there is Internet …

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