Maria Zakharova, spokeswoman for Russian Foreign Ministry, grades Nuland’s paper

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Komsomolskaya Pravda

September 16, 2015

It is impossible to deal with cockroaches in one room while at the same time laying out little plates of bread crumbs on the other side of the wall.


Translated from Russian by Tom Winter


Translator’s note: this press account is based on a post on Maria Zakharova’s facebook page, and I have changed this account slightly in alignment with Zakharova’s original text. It was not clear in KP what was Zakharova and what was KP. I think it is in this translation…

Head of the Information Department of the Russian Foreign Ministry wrote a “critical review” on the “Yalta speech” of the assistant US Secretary of State.

In Kiev, there was a conference “Yalta European Strategy”. Already amazing. Yalta is in the Russian Crimea, and the “Yalta” conference was held in the Ukrainian capital. Well and good — you couldn’t miss that one!. But at this Yalta conference came the assistant US Secretary of State Victoria Nuland. Yes, the same one that passed out the cookies. But now, considered a shadow ruler of Ukraine, she points out to the Kiev authorities what to do. This time, Nuland said in a public speech:

– There should be no tolerance for those oligarchs who do not pay taxes. There must be zero tolerance for bribery and corruption, to those who would use violence for political ends.

And these words of the grande dame of the State Department could not be overlooked. Just think, Americans don’t like it when their loans to Ukraine get stolen. And anti-oligarchic Maidan brought the very olibarchs to power, and corruption in the country has become even greater. Some of us have grown weary of this talk. But, let Nuland drone on …

But then Russian Foreign Ministry official spokesman Maria Zakharova replied. So much so that not a stone was left on stone in the American’s “Yalta speech”:

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“All this a little bit, just a little, looks like a lecture to the fox about how bad it is to steal chickens, but actually it surprised in other ways. As soon as Russian authorities began exposing the tax evasion, bribery, or corruption of the oligarchs, Victoria Nuland’s office hastened to call zero tolerance “political repression” – Zakharova wrote on her facebook page.

It would be great to see the Department of State “show that same zero tolerance and inquire a bit about how the initial capital of the Russian (and Ukrainian would not hurt) oligarchs got started, those oligarchs who have been accused of corruption at home, but who, once in London, feel protected by the authorities, enjoying all the benefits of membership in the Club of Victims of Political Persecution” – continued Zakharova.

“It is impossible to deal with cockroaches in one room while at the same time laying out little plates of bread crumbs on the other side of the wall. Giving the green light to the dirty money from Russia and the former Soviet Union, the Western world is only boosting the zeal with which the domestic thieves shove their loot in foreign bins.” 

“Though perhaps,” wonders the Foreign Minstiry spokesman “this is the actual purpose of the imaginary zero tolerance?”  

“Why do people on Interpol’s lists, by the decision of the Russian courts, prove their financial immorality, as they thrive in the Western capitals, and no alarm bells go off in the State Department?”

It turns out to be an interesting story: Taking fetid streams of notes, the West has just one requirement at the border crossing. Scream “victim of the regime.” That’s it! and you’re in spades!

This calls to mind the old Soviet bribery password translated into modern American:

– In Soviet times, it was common phrase, revealing corrupt intent to proceed with plans insidious in varying degrees: “I’m from Ivan Ivanovich.” Today the corresponding “Open Sesame” that opens the doors “in Europe and the best houses in Philadelphia,” is the phrase “I’m running away from Vladimir”.

Victoria, if you’re going to start cleaning out the cockroaches, stop feeding them on your side.

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