Poroshenko and Obama share the Nobel Peace Prize (not!)

Peace prize laureates pose for portraits before emplaning for Stockholm

Florian SCHAAR
in Allgemeine Morgenpost Runschau
October 9, 2015

Translated from German by Tom Winter
(Biting satire, with sarcasm in every bite)

“This decision was not an easy one for us,” said a Nobel Prize Committee spokesman. “Both Obama and Poroshenko have worked marvels for peace in the world this past year.”

From the laudatory address:

“We admire President Obama for completely fulfilling the expectations of the 2008 award ceremony. He withdrew the troops from Afghanistan and Iraq. He liberated Libya without the loss of any of his own people; he is committed to peace in Syria and Ukraine.  

Obama has acted beyond measure for peace, freedom and prosperity, all the while never losing sight of his first priority, democracy, including whose election counts and whose doesn’t — Assad, for example. The US president is one of only three people who have received the Nobel Peace Prize twice — a signal honor.

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Therefore, it was particularly difficult to us to us to decide on one single candidate. For in Ukraine, there was – in spite of Russian aggression – a man who has withstood the war cries from Moscow to the last, and then emerged from Minsk with peace, despite very strong opposition. – also thanks to the support of Obama.

It should be emphasized that Poroshenko has withstood all Russian provocations and has chosen the difficult path for detecting the Russians’ atrocities. Instead of addressing the easy matter, the Russian annexation of Crimea, where evidence of Russian presence would have been easy, he chose the more challenging path, surprisingly assailing the Russians in Donbass, where the Russians, with their new Cloaking Technology, could not even be tracked by satellite.

The previously unknown Russian technology resulted in, among other things, the complete failure of cell phone cameras and satellite imaging, that made American satellite pictures look as they were from the 60s.

Through this clever move, he could expose the Russians to the world public, without dealing with Crimea, which fell without the firing of a single shot. Despite massive provocations and violations of the Agreement of Minsk, Poroshenko firmly maintains the ceasefire. 

This is precisely the timber from which the Nobel Peace Price is carven

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