Sociopath Media report – 28th October, 2015


By Ollie Richardson for Fort Russ

Batman and the Blimp

Sociopath Media would like to introduce to you the Joint Land Attack Cruise Missile Defense Elevated Netted Sensor System (JLENS):

This piece of American junk somehow managed to slip free of its leash, dragging 2km of steel cable with it, leaving 21,000 people without power as it tore across electricity grids. 

Military blimp breaks loose from Aberdeen Proving Ground in Maryland, floating over Pennsylvania 

Thanks Marcus for giving us a laugh! That Blimp wont even detect a pigeon, let alone a cruise missile. This sorry excuse for a Blimp was eventually downed, but not after we all got to giggle at how pathetic the whole thing was. 

Runaway blimp goes down near Muncy in Pennsylvania 

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Cat got your tongue? 

Here we can see what the Syrian representative to the United Nations General Assembly thinks of Eliot Higgins and Bellingcat:  

Not an awful lot, as you can see.

Iraq says GTFO!

If the Pentagram truly did give Iraq an ultimatum – they will choose Russia for sure. The Syrian War will come down to the battle of Aleppo – one which the Syrian Arab Army are currently winning. USA still has thousands of troops in Iraq, illegally of course, and hopes to put some in Syria too, assuming that ‘Ass’ Carter’s speech wasn’t a bluff. In what will turn out to be the ultimate boot, Afghanistan will ask Russia for airstrikes too to combat the Taliban. 

Bild a bad reputation 

Murad Gazdiev is based at the Russian military base in Latakia, Julian is based in Germany. Therefore, it is obvious who’s information is more trustworthy. We have noticed that Julian has stopped pretending to be a ‘professional’ journalist, and now acts like a temper-tantrum child. Perhaps the hacking of his account has successfully managed to curb his enthusiasm. 

Hmm, John, what happens if Assad wins the elections? Do you immediately send the troops in? We know you wont go away quietly. Assad recently had elections too, so we can imagine how annoyed he will be when he as to do it again just to appease the most genocidal nation on Earth. 

A Close Shave

We are willing to bet that this cameraman could now beat Usian Bolt’s 100m time if flashbacks of this moment were to happen during the race. 

Cold Turkey

Turkey has continued its pursuit of self-destruction by launching a Gestapo-esque crackdown on opposition journalists. It should come as no surprise that the Goldman Sachs-stream media were silent as a mouse on this topic. That is because Turkey has been a key smuggler for ISIS and a portal for terrorism into the Balkans. 

The UK police, inspired by George Orwell, obviously were inspired by this Ottoman repression , and decided to pay the BBC studios a visit:

Police use terror powers to seize BBC Newsnight journalist’s laptop

Fortunately in this instance no innocent civilians were shot in the head  ‘accidentally’ (see Jean Charles de Menezes). The irony of the whole debacle is that no matter what the dictionary definition of ‘Terrorism’ is, the UK government will continually get away with mass murder (See everything, from Francis Drake’s visit to Virginia to World War 1).

Grateful Dead

We would like to apologise to NATO for not appreciating their continued expansion to the tune of 900 global bases, smashing the agreement with Gorbachev to pieces. We will continue to give you tax payer money in order to house outdated junk and nuclear armaments. 

Hey, why do we need NATO again?

Cohen’s Law

Finding a way forward will not be easy John, not with the Russian bear staring at you from northern Syria. Assad will have his elections, he will be re-elected, and US will be escorted off the premises like a drunken larger lout in Newcastle on a Friday night hen party. That’s IF Xi Jinping hasn’t already dealt out a South China Sea special.

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