Calexit: A Semi-Satirical View from Russia

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February 24, 2017 – Fort Russ – 

Dmitry Kosyrev, RIA – translated by J. Arnoldski – 

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Get ready: it is not enough that Russia chose America its president – now it’s going to start the country’s collapse. If the state of California secedes from the US, or even if the movement for secession gains strength, then it will be our fault again. In the very least, an article in The Washington Post is leading the reader to this thought in earnest.

And what happens next is simple: the assumptions and suggestions in this report will soon be referenced as established facts.

The author, not bothering to hide her grin, tells of a group of 15 marginals sitting somewhere in the back of a club. They call themselves the Yes California movement and are gathering the 585,407 needed signatures for a petition to put the question of Californian secession on the ballot in the midterm 2018 elections. These “marginals”, however, say that they’ve established 53 branches across the state and are ready to lead “what’s left of the free world.”

But one of these people, named Louis Marinelli, “lives” in Yekaterinburg, Russia (in fact he is waiting there for his Russian wife to obtain an American visa). In September last year, Marinelli attended a conference in Russia organized by our anti-globalists. Allegedly 30% of the money for the conference came from the “Russian government.” What’s more, Marinelli compared California’s secession to Crimea’s reunification with Russia, which the article quotes.

As a result, the movement is now fighting against a “flood of questions” about ties to Russia. Marinelli has officially stated that the organization is in no way in contact with the Russian government, has no ties to Russia, and does not receive any support.

That’s it. But if something is said and if all the keywords for a search on the internet are put in (“financed by Russian authorities” and “Yes California”), then you’ll see how quickly the words “no,” “no way,” and “never” disappear from subsequent texts. This is how it is done.

The Washington Post’s article, besides its approach to the inevitable “the Russians are to blame,” is very interesting in itself and for the responses it received from thousands of readers. Half of them say the same thing: “California wants to leave? Good riddance, finally.” 

The Washington Post’s authors do not even bother to seriously deal with the astonishing topic of why California is not liked in America. Moreover, the readers themselves are not very concerned by it. The simple fact is that in America this is one of those things that need no explanation.

But another thing is that it is necessary to explain this to our [Russian] reader insofar as the topic is becoming extremely relevant for Russia and the whole world. Let us do this now.

First and foremost, let’s go over the more obvious and known things, for example, about how the California secession movement is nothing new and is not limited to the marginal Yes California group.

There are many Californians, including wealthy and influential ones, who have long since reminded everyone that if California was a country, then it would be among the top ten leading economies in the world. We read something new in The Washington Post: it might be the sixth leading economy with forty million people (plus immigrants), the most modern industry and…California unanimously hates Donald Trump. The state government has essentially launched a mutiny against him and any and all of Trump’s decisions are resisted through courts and administrative channels.

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Trump’s election actually intensified the work of local separatists. The question arises as to why, but the answer here is the same as to the question of why California is not liked by the rest of America. The point is in the thinking of these rather specific people who live in the “Golden State.”

Speaking of thinking, a considerable number of reader responses to the above-mentioned publication mentioned a painfully familiar question: “who feeds whom?” On the one hand, California subsidizes other states. On the other hand, other people explain to the separatists that all it takes is the state losing the considerable number of US military bases and companies for the local economy to dramatically deflate.

This kind of talk is familiar to us from the talks on the eve of the collapse of the USSR with the slogan “stop feeding Central Asia.” If only the Americans knew what happens after this kind of talk. But apparently, idiocy, like terrorism, has no nationality. One would like to tell them: take care of your country! Yet everyone hates California – not because of money, but because the Americans of the Republican-Trumpian way of thinking will tell you simply that “all the muck suffocating the country comes from California.”

The list of such muck includes feminism with its “sexist” and “chauvinist” labels, the chasing of pedophiles, rapists, and lawyers – specialists in robbing men during divorce, and there is the ecological terrorism according to which anyone who is “not saving the planet from global warming” is an enemy and non-human. And there’s the war on fur coats, smoking, and palm oil. 

This is the typical American skill of boycotting people with a different way of thinking, and this is especially true for Hollywood. Well, there’s also the political correctness and other forms of mass insanity.

But not everything on this list of American attractions comes from California. California has indeed become the capital of mass brainwashing to support these “initiatives” – and not only in the US, but worldwide. 

Actually, it’s all about the economy.

Industry (mainly military, which is federal) yields only 10% of the state’s GDP. In first place are education and medicine, and everything else belongs to the service sector. A typical Californian is a relatively young representative of the “creative class.” And we know what kind of people these are. 

We are talking about the layer of people who see a curse in the slogan “America first.” They are citizens of the world and love immigrants. If there is somewhere where everyone believes in the omnipotence of the internet and social networking, then this is in California. After all, they invented these things here. 

California is home to the demanding cosmopolitan consumer who doesn’t read books but is tightly plugged into the network of international urban hamsters. This is a very aggressive class prone to revolutions (i.e., mass-scale forced “improvements” of people across the world, like Arabs, Russians, and Americans) and who hate “Trump’s America.”

There is no word for “vatnik” [a derogatory word by Ukrainians for the people of Donbass roughly equivalent to redneck – JA] in the US, but this is overall how stereotypical Californians treat the inhabitants of the American Midwest and South. 

Of course, this is not just California. Now people are talking about how this state could “take with it” Oregon and Washington while seceding, i.e., the western seaboard of the US. Plus the northern part of the eastern seaboard, first and foremost New York. In fact, these states were “blue,” i.e., they vote for the Democrats. 

All together, this is somewhat similar to the division of British India – out of the center and south remained India, and out of the edges in 1947 two Pakistans, west and east, were created, the latter of which later became a separate country, Bangladesh. All of these parts were once one country.

Did we collapse British India too?

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