WATCH: Prankers warn US Ambassador in Guam of “dangerous Admiral Lukashenko”


January 9, 2018 – FRN – 

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Politnavigator – translated by Inessa Sinchougova 

Russian prankers Vovan and Lexus played a phone trick on the ambassador of the island of Guam (USA) Eddie Calvo.

The prankers (P) officially called on behalf of the Prime Minister of Ukraine Vladimir Groisman, and discussed the situation with the supply of Ukrainian missiles to North Korea. The ambassador was at first shocked by the news of the Ukraine missile deliveries to the DPRK, and then was glad that the  parts for them were stolen in Ukraine, and promised to send all the information to President Trump.

Also, the prankers warned the ambassador of the “dangerous Admiral Lukashenko”, who is leading the Belarussian fleet to the shores of Guam. The humour in this is that Belarus is landlocked – and follows on from Jen Psaki’s rhetoric that the US would would send its fleet “to the shores of Belarus” in case of invasion of Ukraine. 

P: -Good afternoon, Mr. Governor, it’s good to hear from you. 

EC: Good evening! As far as I know, you are in New York now! 

P: Yes, the weather is fine in New York! But we have now to defend the most difficult decisions in the UN building. 

EC: -I would like to thank you. Now we have an early morning on the island of Guam. In fact, this is the first opportunity I had to communicate with a representative of Ukraine. Once again I want to thank you, Mr. Minister, for this opportunity. 

P: -I heard recently the speech of President Donald Trump, it was very inspiring. I am very glad that he is ready to support the situation in the region. And you know that now we are starting cooperation with the United States in the military sector.

EC: -Yes, I know that Ukraine really faced such a situation directly with the aggressor on its territory, so this cooperation will develop, I hope for closer relations not only through the diplomatic line, but also cooperation to ensure mutual protection, therefore I hope for the further development of the situation and a meeting. 

P: – Tomorrow our president will meet with President Trump. The topic of the conversation is the situation that takes place on Guam, as well as the question that President Trump himself addressed to us: were Ukrainian missiles delivered to North Korea?

EC: -You know, again, all this speculation that is in the press … But we, the people of Guam, do not believe that Ukraine has any responsibility at this time.

P: -I wanted to tell you this first, which tomorrow will be announced to President Trump. I would like to tell you that, indeed, the missiles were delivered to North Korea. It was a very long process, no one thought it would take on such a character. 

EC: -Oh, God … I’m very sorry that the situation has developed this way. We really hope that any military aggression from North Korea will be restrained. 

P: But I still have to assure you. For 20 years we had difficult situations in military development, so many missile parts were stolen, so the missiles that were sold to North Korea are of very poor quality. They will not be able to fly to Guam. I know our missiles perfectly, therefore … as far as Ukrainian production is concerned, you can be sure that nothing will fly.

EC: -This is very good news! I would like to thank them for it! It is good that you have clearly stated the position that the technological component and capabilities of these missiles will not allow them to reach Guam. I would also be happy to share the information if you give it to me and send it to the administration of the US government. 

P: – I sold these missiles, but I knew what kind of quality they were, they earned quite well with our friend Kim Jong-un. Therefore, I think that now they will understand the quality of these missiles. 

EC: -I would like to thank you again. Huge gratitude! I hope that you really earned a lot of money in North Korea on defective missiles. (Laughs) And I would also like to ask you to convey gratitude to your president.

P: – With the proceeds I built a factory in Russia. Right now I make money in Russia. I mean the factory of Petro Poroshenko, he is engaged in the confectionery business here. 

EC: – Oh my God, what an irony. I would like your residents to visit us on the island of Guam, and that our residents visit Ukraine. If you are cold, of course, you may want to fly to Guam, if we are hot – we would like to go to a cooler Ukraine. 

P: -Has President Trump called you? 

EK: -Yes, he called me a few weeks ago. He assured me of the safety of Guam. 

P: But what does he plan? He plans to go ahead of the pack? Attack them? Or how?

EC: – Trump clearly told me that any attack from North Korea is aimed at the US or our allies in this region, and will receive a military and incommensurable military strike. 

P: -I want to warn you against Russia. I very much fear that they will not try to cooperate with North Korea, because they can release the Belarusian fleet. Belarus can sail to the backwoods of Guam. And then, you can be sure that we will deploy our fleet somewhere nearby. If you allow us, we will fight the Russians in your territory, if suddenly such a need will be required,

EC: -When I have the opportunity to communicate with Mr. Trump, I hope that you do not mind that I bring this information to Mr. Trump, about all the options for the development of the situation in the Asia-Pacific region. If there is a violation of the status quo, I would like to share this information. 

P: – Admiral Lukashenko, who can lead this fleet, is very dangerous. President, he has such a dream … he always dreamed of becoming an Admiral of the Belarusian fleet … he has such a cherished dream – to seize new territories. And I’m afraid that they can unite with Russia.

EC: -I will give all this information to the administration of Mr. Trump.

P: We have to stick together. 

EC: -I look forward to continuing our relationship and unity with our friends from the Ukrainian side.

P: – Our relationship will be the strongest ever. 

EC: -Thank you very much, we hope for further cooperation, strengthening of our communications. I would like to ask to convey gratitude not only to President Poroshenko, but to all the people of Ukraine. 

P: To all citizens of Guam, greetings. 

EC: – Thank you so much! We look forward to dialogue with you, our peoples will be friends. Thank you! 

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