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Tom Winter

Contributing editor and volunteer translator Tom Winter, retired Classics professor, monitors the news in 6 languages, and sometimes cannot help writing satire, since that’s what today’s news mostly deserves

Poroshenko surrenders Ukraine to the IMF

[Original headline at source: “Poroshenko acquires a big loan for Ukraine from IMF, conditioned on consigning lands, resources and procurements of public services to US mega-corporations”] Ukraine, Lagarde (IMF) announce: Loans to 40 billion euro in exchange for reforms (on the Greek model) Interpretive reporting by Luciano Lago Published February 12, 2016 in February […]


Non-lethal weaponry for Kiev: Kik ramps up waterpistol production

Satire by Florian Schaar  Allgemeine Morgenpost Rundschau Published February 11, 2016 February 12, 2015 Translated from the German by Tom Winter The retail chain Kik is already preparing for the planned failure of the Minsk negotiations. This communique was released from the Kik central office: “When the negotiations fail, according to plan, then we want […]

Swiss neo-nazis ship money and uniforms to the front

Report of Fabian Eberhard, Sontagszeitung, February 8, 2015 Report of Fabian Eberhard, Sontagszeitung, February 8, 2015 February 10, 2015 Translated from German by Tom Winter Bern/Kiev In the east of Ukraine, Neonazis are at large. Extreme rightwing fighters of the Ukrainian volunteer regiments are looting homes, torturing captive separatists, and kidnapping reporters: terror in the […]

Italian eyewitness calls out Yats propaganda lies

Pervomaisk Day Care Center after Ukrainian shelling Vauro Senesi  Facebook February 8, 2015 Translated from Italian by Tom Winter “The Soviet Union invaded Ukraine and Germany in the Second World War. We must must not let it happen again.” Those are the words pronounced by the Prime Minister of Ukraine Arseniy Yatsenyuk on the occasion […]

Order from Kiev: “break Donetsk at any cost”

Published in “Russia – Dissenting Opinion” January 27, 2015 February 6, 2015 Translated from Russian by Tom Winter The massive heavy artillery shelling on Donetsk has resumed. In several districts of the city natural gas lines and electric substations are now out of service. Dozens more homes are without power and heat. Dokuchaevsk and Gorlovka […]

Civilians close to Debaltsevo cauldron anxious for victory

February 6, 2015 Translated from French by Tom Winter Report of Simon Valmary on January 29, 2015 At Enakievo, in the separatist east of Ukraine, everyone is looking forward to the fall of the neighboring town of Debaltsevo: the combatants – to carry off a strategic victory over the forces of Kiev, the civilians – so the […]

Ukrainian industry to Parliament: “Yank Yats!”

Recent activity in the Antonov factory UNN report by Tamara Semenenko February 5, 2015 Russian version of same here February 6, 2015 Translated from Russian by Tom Winter Kiev, February 5 UNN [Ukrainian National News service]. Almost one million workers throughout Ukraine will experience a lockout (work stoppage — Ed.) At present so far they […]

Ukraine becomes US 51st State

Published December 3, 2014 in Allgemeine Morgenpost Rundschau Satire in German by Florian Schaar February 4, 2015 Translated from German by Tom Winter After the installation of the members of the US-controlled Puppet Government, the logical next step occurred today. The Ukrainian administration has put in its request for admission as the 51st state of […]

It’s Putin’s devilish cloak-tank!

Published December 29 in Allgemeine Morgenpost Rundschau Satire in German by Florian Schaar February 3, 2015 Translated from German by Tom Winter  The world has long puzzled over how Putin has managed to invade Ukraine without us being able to find any credible satellite photos, tire tracks, or tank tracks in the fields, or spent […]

Six Veterans of Stalingrad Write Open Letter to Angela Merkel

February 2, 2015 — 72nd Anniversary of the Victory at Stalingrad Published January 22, 2015 Russian text of letter Translated from Russian by Tom Winter Every Museum desires to do educational outreach, and the Museum-Panorama of the Battle of Stalingrad is no exception. (Visit its site here:  On January 22, it hosted a Round […]